Friday, June 11, 2010

Identity Crisis

My Dearest "Leaving the Legion" - your anonymous status is what lets you and others be free to comment and post their feelings and thoughts on this whole situation. Please do not jeopardize your safety or ability to leave by revealing who you are. All of us in your "state of origin" feel the same - wait until you truly are free. I love you - the "Oldest".

The Oldest is, of course, Mom. My siblings have also expressed a lot of fear and anxiety. My biggest concern is for them. I fear for their privacy. All you have to do is Google my last name, and you find the names and addresses of my entire family. Could I possibly put them through that?

I need to make one thing very clear; I do not fear for myself. Nor do I think it could jeopardize my leaving the legion. It could jeopardize the relationship with my future bishop. Here are my thoughts on that. After years of second-guessing and half-truths, I want my relationship with him to be as clear and open as possible. If I were to enter a diocese where suspicions abound, I would live the same hell I have lived for the past fifteen years. The truth shall make your free, and I am determined to live in truth.

I’m getting ready for the barrage of comments this is going to cause. For those of you who will say, don’t let your superiors dupe you, they have not had a word in this. Furthermore, they know about the blog. For those who think I am wavering, believe me, my resolve is firm. I feel no sentiments or desire to turn back. For those who will say I deceived you, yes, that is true, and I am sorry. It was a rash decision on my part to want to reveal my identity, not taking into account the sensibilities of my family. If it weren’t for them I would do it.

One last word. Thank you for the many prayer intentions you sent. I literally placed them on the altar and celebrated my mass for all of you.

If it helps, you can use my pen name: Fr Jack

22 comments:

  1. Dear Father:
    Please know that our prayers are with you, and all LC priest and consecrated men and women, who are in our prayers daily.

    I agree with your decision not to reveal your idenity at this time. It was wise to spare your family the anxiety of this as you go through this transition. You should wait to make known your idenity until you have completed your transition to your new priestly assignment in some diocese. Also, there is no need to feel that you have decieved us, as readers, since you have not done us any harm by keeping your idendity anonymous.

    Question to you, do you think that other LC priest would benefit or not if they were to follow your thoughts and decision making through this process?

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  2. You are the Unknown Soldier. Your witness gives courage to many -- the blessing is to us who have been dupped and to those who are struggling under a dark spirit of confusion. I agree with your mother; we don't need to know who you are. One thing is certain: Your name is NOT LEGION!! May your healing, and that of your confreres and family, be swift and complete. Know that you are in the prayers of those who love you and support you -- all the great and true Communion of Saints. Courage and peace be with you. Amen.

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  3. I am glad you didn't reveal your identity. The anonymous' comment in the previous post about one thought one has gotten over it, only to find out that one will have to face it over and over again, is so right-on. In any event, we need to encounter God again and again to understand what he is trying to say to us.
    I am so glad you listen to your family. I hope you stay connected with them.

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  4. Dear "Fr. Jack"

    I was fallowing this in hopes that it may shed light on my own discernment. Now I feel betrayed by YOU. I question whether you are even real or if anything you said is even real! Anyone can create a blog. I will pray for you because you seem more confused than I am. If this sensationalism and hypocrisy is anything to judge by, please go pray some more for prudence in your decision(s).

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  5. My husband just asked if this is "Fr. Jack" or the "Ghost of Fr. Maciel"?

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  6. "Father Jack",
    First things first. I care more that you find your way free of the Legion. Your identity may trickle out after your departure. We need never know if a particular departing LC is you, the author of this blog.

    I've posted anonymously since Feb. '09. I don't want my comments to cause any embarrassment or backlash to my family or my parish work. We all have our reasons for remaining anonymous.

    I'm relieved for you that you're able to be honest with your family, and that you have their support. I imagine leaving must be very difficult for LCs who have come from very integrated RC families.

    I hope you'll continue to post on your blog. In a funny way, it gives this community of supporters a chance to see how you are doing. Our prayers are with you!

    "Gladys"

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  7. I don't know....I think there is a time to be bold and this is it. By not revealing your name you've empowered anyone who disagrees with leaving the legion of christ. For goodness sake, what possible retribution would be exacted against your family??? If that is a REAL concern, then get out now!!! Why wait and voluntarily endure the "hell" any longer. Apparently, the MM brainwash techniques are preventing you from "walking out the front door"...they still have a hold on you. Just some advice.

    Regardless...best wishes and God bless.

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  8. I don't know....I think there is a time to be bold and this is it. By not revealing your name you've empowered anyone who disagrees with leaving the legion of christ. For goodness sake, what possible retribution would be exacted against your family??? If that is a REAL concern, then get out now!!! Why wait and voluntarily endure the "hell" any longer. Apparently, the MM brainwash techniques are preventing you from "walking out the front door"...they still have a hold on you. Just some advice.

    Regardless...best wishes and God bless.

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  9. Dear Father,
    May God continue to bless you on your journey. Please let us all know when you are finally free!
    Your post has made me realize how much I need to pray for those still in the Legion and struggling.

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  10. How could a bunch of anonymous commenters ever argue to the contrary?

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  11. Fr. Jack:

    It is sad to hear that there could be any recriminations against your family, which itself is a testimony to what is so wrong with this Movement. If you believe that it may harm your relationship with your bishop, then by all means, stay anonymous for now. Your testimony will help others in many ways.

    Keep faithful to your mission. The Truth WILL set you free.


    ATL Granny

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  12. I guess I don't understand. Who or what is there to fear? I guess if you have family members who are employed by the Legion, it could jeopardize their jobs, but what else is there to fear? I haven't heard of any of the other well-known members of the Legion who have left suffering any negative consequences. I'm confused.

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  13. Father,
    You are in my prayers. Please let your mother know, I am praying for her as well. I unsubscribed to your blog today as well as to several others. Not because I don't care........I do. I want to thank you. Today in Mass I was able to let go and forgive. That is a big step for me. I was able to do this with the help of the posts that you previously made. Please keep this blog up. There are many out there that need the bennifit of reading your story. I am leaving my story up on my blog as well although I have no intention to responding to any comments made. It is blogs like life after rc, Catholic light, and others that have helped me in my own journey.

    Recently, I went back and read some of Mother Angelicas thoughts regarding Living in the Present Moment. Through my journey I have bennifited from her wisdom regarding the present moment. When you refered to her in a recent post, I realized that I was clinging to the memories of the past, Still nursing old wounds, and not living in the Present Moment. The Present Moment is where I can encounter Christ in my life.

    I have begun a new journey now, one that could not progress further until I forgave and moved on to the Present Moment. Who knows some time in the future I am sure I will check in on you. Not because I want to revisit the past, but to see how your journey is going.

    Peace and Good,
    Maggie in the Midwest

    "My Past to Your Mercy Oh Lord, My Present to Your Love, My Future to Your Providence." Padre Pio

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  14. Dear Father,
    Makes sense to me. For two years my posted comments on variouos blogs have been anonymous--and I was only dealing with a family member who had left LC/RC years ago, yet still needed privacy.

    It's a long process for the person entangled in LC or RC and family members are apart of that process.

    You're obviously legit and I respect your decision.
    Couragio! And Continue On!

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  15. I totally understand your decision to remain anonymous. I've been anonymous (post under several names, actually, since the moniker "anonymous" is so confusing in the comboxes) since Feb 2009 as well, and it's precisely because we are not quite ready to lose the Legion paycheck and because I don't want our family's name trashed in retribution by the LCs. Many have had that done to them in the past, and although I am not sure if that kind of retribution and vengeance is still a part of Legion Methodology, I don't want to be the guinea pig who finds out. Moreover, I'm not sure if they could sue us re: nondisparagement clause (although I personally am not the one who signed it, and the one who did never comments). One would like to think the LC high-powered lawyers would be otherwise engaged at the moment, but again, I'm not willing to risk it.

    I believe you are wise to protect your family, and I do think it is telling that there is the need for that kind of protection from an order of priests. I was relieved to read your entry this morning, to be quite honest.

    God bless.

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  16. "I was following this in hopes that it may shed light on my own discernment. Now I feel betrayed by YOU."

    How rich is that, coming from "anonymous." Carry on, Fr, you're doing fine. I hear your sentiments echoed in the Legionaries I've known who have left over the years. Finally, the real family can be prioritised over the other, who tried to take their place. All in God's time.

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  17. "It was a rash decision"

    Looking from the outside the most obvious fact is that you have returned to your original plan.

    You aren't all that anonymous anyways if LC and your future diocese will know about the blog, so don't fuss over when to make a grand announcement.

    Whether you put your name to your blog when you arrive in a diocese or after you are permanently incardinated, if your blog is real, your identify will be no more secret than 'changobeer' as time goes by.

    God Bless in your jubilee as you await transfer.

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  18. Dear Fr. Jack,

    Your mother is right. God bless you for listening to her!

    You have mentioned something that really brings something to light that many RC members and LC priests need to ponder - the subject of half-truths. I am ex-RC now for one year. It took me nearly 9 months to realize how untruthful I had been. I was grateful to God for this grace. He showed me how I needed to repent and continue to make reparation for the sins of half-truths and untruth. I say this only because this is part of the Maciel methodology and it still permeates the movement.

    As Genevieve says though, all in God's time. And as you say, the Truth will set you free.

    God's Blessings to you! I completely agree with you that it is prudent, for the sake of your new Bishop, to stay anonymous.

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  19. Should clarify what I meant by 'real'.

    Just that if your blog gives a real view of your future life, by the time you confirm publicly there may be no splash at all, and that's just fine.tolly

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  20. All those anonymii who complain about your unwillingness to "out" yourself, probably haven't had to suffer the Legion's "special brand of charity". Do what you can, then take a nap.

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  21. God bless you Father. I think you are making a wise choice. No need for any unnecessary sufferings....you've endured enough already. When the time is right you can say goodbye and hold your head up - your eyes on Christ! You're on the right track. I pray for your strength and perseverance. This will pass and what a glorious day it will be!

    Always praying for you. You are a soldier, and May God richly bless you and your priestly ministry.

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  22. Nat has a good point. You've already lost your anonymity by describing online actions you took in real life. RC is a tightly-wound, inbred little gossip circle. Anyone who really cares to know your name already can.

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