Friday, July 16, 2010

Click... and it was all over.

As I pulled the front gate to the house shut, and heard the latch click, I walked toward the taxi that was waiting for me, and a sudden emotion came over me – it was all over. I had crossed a threshold I had been waiting for, and had stepped into a new life. Click… and it was all over. It was a liberating experience.

That was Tuesday afternoon. There was no one in the house to give me a ride to the airport, and in the long run, it was better that way. I called a taxi, and left my keys to the house behind. Everything I didn’t want to bring home with me, I left at the rectory of a priest friend. I now consider myself free from the legion.

There is still a long way to go. But I know that I am on the right path.

These are just a few thoughts that came to mind. I haven’t had a lot of time to sit down and write. Mom doesn’t have a computer in the house. I walked over to the public library and am using one here. I love America. Everything is so simple easy. Before coming into the library, I just wandered the streets looking around to see what has changed and what’s the same. I’m loving every minute of it. I’ll try to ramble on again soon.

14 comments:

  1. Dear "Fr Jack"

    I think about you every day, and hope you are doing well. Thanks for the update.

    Reading your comments, knowing you are finding your freedom from the Legion, you give me hope for the LCs I know. It would be such a relief to me if I knew they too were moving on from the Legion to a new life, truly in service to the Church.

    Bless you and your family, I hope you enjoy this joyful time. Please keep us informed!

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  2. Father, when will you be able to tell us who you are? I'm sure that everyone who has been following your blog is rejoicing with you and for you! God is amazingly faithful to all of us.
    It has been a gift to experience His tender fidelity to you through this blog. God bless!

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  3. Where you are going many of us have trodden , it is not an easy path given the "formation" that trained you not to think for ourself. Remember always you are now to make the decisions concerning your life and DO NOT BE A PRISONER OF HISTORY, Close the door with the firm conviction that you have done what you believed God asked you to do. You carry many prayers, as indeed do those that chose to remain in the ranks, and we likewise pray that the re-foundation will be to the glory of God and the service of His church.
    Go in faith, my friend, do what you believe God is asking you to do

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  4. Dear Father,
    We are thinking and praying for you everyday. Please, update us when you are able and breath easy my friend! Enjoy some extra sleep and hugs from your family.

    Don't look back Father. Hands to the plow with your healing and easy breathing!!

    God bless you,
    Gene and Jennifer B.
    Michigan

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  5. I attended a Regnum Christi retreat five years ago. It was the first time in my life as a Catholic I heard the authentic teachings of the Catholic Church. There was no liberation theology, no marxism, no modernism, just the the truth. The priest was very holy and Christ was the center of his life. He was truly happy. It makes me weep to watch what has happened to the Legion of Christ.

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  6. Oh! My Brother is HOME for wonderful, incredible visit. And he is my BROTHER again.

    He verbally ribs us, he rolls his eyes, laughs, shakes his head in humorful exasperation, candidly speaks to us, strolls the streets of the places he grew-up.

    My brother is again with his family for a time....

    Just like a big, Catholic family, we are playfully nudging, wrestling, and vying for the opportunity to have time; individual and quality time with him, to engage him in intellectual and silly conversation, and to share with him our individual tastes in "down time."

    I plan to take him sailing, kayaking, camping and hiking....

    I hope I can fit it all in. I hope his fingernails get dirty. I hope he smells like a campfire. I hope he spills in the kayak! (don't worry, I will keep him safe!)

    I KNOW we will laugh together like brother and sister when he gets dirty, smelly and wet!

    I thank God and thank you all again for your prayers.

    My brother is HOME!

    Oh, and he is not in a cassock. He is wearing a modest white polo shirt, with modest kahaki pants. I hope to modestly get him earthy dirty!

    Oh, and Mom washed and ironed his priestly garb, and he co-said Holy mass yesterday with her priest, Father Bob.

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  7. How happy I am for you, S! And for you, too, Father Jack.

    I rejoice that you have been freed and will continue to pray for your healing and wellbeing.

    And S, definitely get him smelly, wet, and disheveled........he has years of perfect Legionary hygiene to overcome ;)

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  8. So very happy to hear this! Fr. Jack with his family, having lots of fun, lots to talk about... God is great! May your family have a blast with you during this time!
    Our prayers of gratitude to God and may God bless all family members! Enjoy your family time!

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  9. I am dedicating a beautiful song to my brother, and to all of us who have been in an abusive and controlling relationship.



    "Once upon a time it was for real
    Nothing mattered---then we were together
    And I couldn't ask for more
    My dream came true
    You were nearest to my heart

    I can't make you love me anymore
    Nothing matters now when you are gone
    Tried so many times before
    Only now I understand
    We never felt the same

    But I don't mind
    I don't mind
    A better combination won't be hard to find
    Got to learn to walk again
    It's so new--being free
    Start the life of different kind
    No more us
    From now on it's---me

    I know this empty room too well
    I've got to plan my new life's resolutions
    First of all I'll show you how I can survive
    I never knew that I could laugh like this

    So I don't mind
    I don't mind
    A better combination won't be hard to find
    Got to learn to walk again
    It's so new---being free
    Start the life of different kind
    No more us
    From now on it's only me

    I don't mind...I don't mind...I don't mind...I don't mind.

    I don't mind!

    Once upon a time it was for real
    Nothing mattered then we were together

    You were nearest to my heart
    Only now I understand
    We never felt the same

    I don't mind, I don't mind, I don't mind, I don't mind, I don't mind, I don't mind
    I don't mind"


    I don't mind!


    Basia

    Time and Tide album
    "From Now On"

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  10. S, I sure hope you gave your brother a sloppy kiss on the cheek for me! I've been out of town since last Tuesday -- also visiting my mother who lives on a farm and doesn't have a computer.

    Try to get Fr. J to do as many things un-LC as you can. Walk barefoot in the dirt....eat pizza with his bare hands....water balloon fights! Oh, and dump his kayak and tell him it's from all his friends here on Leaving the Legion. We'll howl with delight when you tell us you've accomplished that mission.

    There are so many wonderful, glorious, simple joys that have been forbidden him these last 25 years.

    He has a lot of fun to catch up with and I'm sure you will delight in exposing him to as many of them as you can.

    I'm sure your mom is also just looking at him whenever she can, just relishing the sight of her son HOME!

    Looking forward to hearing updates when either of you get the chance.

    ATL Granny

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  11. Father John:
    I'm now living in the room you were used to live.
    I pray for you that you may fulfill as priest and be holy.
    Pray for us legionaries, in order for us to follow what the Holy Spirit is calling us to do.
    God bless you father.
    I was very happy to see you on the Corpus Christi Mass & procession.

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  12. Father John:
    I'm now living in the room you were used to live.
    I pray for you that you may fulfill as priest and be holy.
    Pray for us legionaries, in order for us to follow what the Holy Spirit is calling us to do.
    God bless you father.
    I was very happy to see you on the Corpus Christi Mass & procession.

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  13. Dear anonymous who is living in my room. I am very surprised that you have access to and have read my blog. Is there no more internet filter for legionaries?
    I do hope that his blog has helped you to see other options. I hope you are considering being a leavinglc. You would be surprised how much more fulfilling priestly life is outside the legion, how much you have missed, and how much the lc has deceived you. Just a suggestion. Alway willing to help.

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  14. I can identify with much of Fr. Jack's description - I once left the Legion too, but in other circumstances and for other reasons, over twenty years ago. I still miss the Legion, and still regret not being there, even with their current problems. They were the best years of my life!! But we each have our way we need to follow and I wish Fr. Jack only the best. The Legion will be fine and so will Fr. Jack. Jesus

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