Thursday, July 1, 2010

Don't look back

I almost did it – I almost looked back after putting my hand to the plow. Remember in a previous post I said; “From today on my only contact with my legionary superiors will be to insist and encourage them to do their part in the canonical process needed to be gain the dissolution of my vows and incardination in my new diocese.” Well, previously I had sent numerous e-mails trying to provoke a contrite response from my superiors. Yesterday I got a response – just the same ole same ole. But I immediately started to bang out a furious response. Half-way through, that is, I could have gone on writing for hours, I stopped and remembered my promise to myself. What good will it do to continue fighting against the current?

I need to remain focused. Don’t look back.

8 comments:

  1. Fr. Jack, one of the definitions of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different response. You will never get the compassionate reaction you yearn for -- at least not this side of heaven. Or, when the scales fall off your superiors.

    Better to vent your frustration through prayer or with long walks. Jesus knows what it's like to be betrayed by His friends.

    Or, you can head on over to Life-After-RC. You will be reaffirmed there and it will give you the strength you need for the journey ahead. (There is a real eye-opening thread on there right now about parents taking their kids out of Apostolic schools.)

    Keep the faith. Don't look back.

    ATL Granny

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  2. Fr. Jack,

    No need to fight AGAINST the current anymore, brother. Christ is calling upon you to fight FOR Him. To work FOR Him. To answer HIS call.

    May our good Lord keep you firm in your resolve so that you may find fulfillment in His holy work.

    May you justifiably grieve for the Legionaries who you love, and will surely leave behind.

    May the Lord make you clear in the distinction between the two.

    Glory be to the wisdom of the Lord.

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  3. It sounds like bitterness is eating you alive. I will pray for you. We need holy priests who will bring us to Christ and lead us in His ways. Please, no more bitterness and resentment. The work of the Legion and Regnum Christi is going to take a long time. They will get there. Give them time... but you take your distance and go forward in your life and priesthood. God bless you!

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  4. Fr -
    I understand your struggle and have experienced it in a few family situations where brothers and sisters had totally different perspectives and facts and hurt each other. I would bang out emails to them and than hit delete. I wanted so hard for them to see the truth of my heart but our perspectives were different.

    The hard part is that if you really love someone, you want to be real with them and not fake. I am baffled sometimes how the best thing to do is not share your real self with someone you love because they cannot handle it or see it or take it. It is a sacrifice to hold back. Mother Angelica once said something like loving someone does not mean you try to change their perspective to be like yours. Love is accepting them right where they are. But you cannot let their perspective disturb your peace with the Lord and you need to do what you need to do.

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  5. Father,
    You are doing the right thing, I was in your situation but I left for the same reasons, you need to leave to see clearly you cannot collaborate in a Movement or order that is blind to the truth. You will feel the freedom of serving God in simplicity and real joy. There are more people out and thinking like you that they make you think. Everything will come to the light sooner or later but God cannot be with those that share in the works of darkness willingly.

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  6. Hey Father Jack......I have an idea.....

    Go ahead and part your hair on the left. See if anyone notices! :-)

    Take this opportunity to break out of the restrictive nuances of LC since they haven't seen fit to give you anything worthwhile to do!

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  7. "It sounds like bitterness is eating you alive. I will pray for you. We need holy priests who will bring us to Christ and lead us in His ways. Please, no more bitterness and resentment"

    God forbid this priest actually expresses what he is feeling as he processes the emotional/psychological abuse he has experienced at the hands of this outfit the Holy See has called a system of power that abuses conscience and authority.

    No, far better for him to give up all this "bitterness" and embrace serenity so that nobody else has to hear about the suffering so many priests have endured at the hands of this Movement.

    Forget "holy"; I've had enough of "holy"--nobody knows who is truly holy except God. I want real priests who aren't afraid to admit their struggles and sufferings, priests I can relate to, priests truly seeking to bring others closer to Christ through true love and the sharing of the human experience, in all its messy glory.

    "Serene" and "holy" priests in the style of Legion masks are NOT what this Church needs.

    I applaud you for continuing to share your story and your struggles. If others want to scold you and disparage you for your so-called "bitterness" and "resentment", so be it. Please know that those of us who have struggled and suffered and who live in the real world of messiness and imperfection appreciate having priests with whom we can share our journeys.

    Thank you for being real, Father Jack.

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  8. You don't sound bitter to me you sound real. Thank God you can soon leave the legion of maciel behind.

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