I was in a long battle with my superiors who were trying to get me to sign a letter asking to be dispensed from my perpetual vows. For my part, I wanted them to state clearly why they thought I should leave. For their part, from what they told me, Maciel made the decision and that was that. This went on for years.
One day, I was in the Cheshire dining room waiting for lunch to begin. Fr Bannon walked in, and at one point he asked me a question I didn’t have the answer to. It was something trivial. So I said, “You’ve got me, father.” With all the disdain he was capable of, he started walking away and said, “Yes, brother, we’ve GOT you.”
I “got” the meaning he implied immediately, and my blood boiled. Oh how they wanted to get rid of me but were unable to speak the truth. An order given must be an order obeyed. No dialogue, no chance to redeem yourself. No truth.